It’s normal for kids to ask questions about the absence of their father. This may be awkward or painful on the part of a single mom, but they still need to be prepared with what to answer. This is the situation now of Kapuso actress Bettina Carlos.
The 30-year-old artist is now a hands-on mother to her 7-year-old daughter Gummy. Just like any other single-mom Bettina flinched from answering the question “Who is my dad?” However, she is certain that this is part of the reality that she must deal with.
In an interview with PEP, Bettina Carlos shared how her daughter randomly asks her questions which appears like she’s solving a mystery.
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The actress recounted that about two year’s ago Gummy first posed the question ‘How do you make babies?’ to her. She answered by saying,
“Ang explanation ko, ‘Ahhh… you know, when you have a partner…'”
It was then followed with another question ‘Who’s your partner?
“Hindi ko alam kung paano sagutin! Na off-guard ako, e. Then eventually, she asked.”
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Bettina Carlos admits that this question may be dreadful on her part but this is something that she needs to face.
“It’s something that we are responsible for because it will complete them, e. That’s a piece, a puzzle of their life that we can’t forever withhold from them because it will complete them.”
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“Sabi ko lang sa kanya, ‘Anak, I’ll tell you when you’re older.’”
Bettina shared that Gummy asked the question weeks before the latter turned four years old.
Her daughter was so eager to know the answer that she asked, “When, mom? When I’m four?” but Bettina simply answered “No!”.
Gummy persistently asked her by saying, “‘When? When I’m five?’ so she just said “‘No, maybe when you’re 8 or 12 or 18, I don’t know!’
Bettina believes that Gummy knows her limits when asking her questions.
“But she knows that there are things that I can answer and there are those that I cannot yet and she understands why. They say lang naman when kids ask, you just answer their question.”
The Kapuso actress shared that her daughter already asked for the name of her father, and she said it.
“Kasi our tendency as single parents, iniisip na natin yung hanggang pagkikita na, e. E, ang tinanong lang, ‘Sino yung tatay ko’, di ba?”
Her advice to other single moms:
“Just take it one question at a time. And when you’re not ready, basing it on the emotionally capacity of your child to absorb and understand…You just take it one step at a time.”